Number four. My new brain comes with instructions. It says here that my new brain can help me dream up a fantasy. Mine is: I'm laying down, or cuddled or whatever, on a COMFORTABLE chair, couch, bed...whatever. It's just comfortable. So my lower back doesn't hurt at all. Not even a little bit. I am at a Costa Rican beach (preferably in Guanacaste, so it doesn't rain). In the sun, but in the shade, a sort of shade that lets the sun in. I'm alone, but I am not lonely. Or scared. Or lost. I belong. I am loved. But I am alone. No one's coming soon. No one needs anything. Everyone's fine. No one needs anything from me. The baby is fed and will not need to eat for a very long time, the house (which house?) is clean and the dishes are washed, the laundry is done.

And I just lay there... sleep-thinking.

My fantasy would have this soundtrack

"Antes tenía tanto y para todos
antes tenía tanto y para todos

Antes tenía ahora deseo
antes había ahora espero" Antes, Julieta Venegas

--The End--

Someone turn the volume down on this baby.